This evening we were visited by a special guest, had he told us he was coming we may have been more welcoming but when a 5 inch long, mouse eating, giant centipede wriggles out from under your armchair you forget your manners and become less than hospitable.
Luckily for Clare and I, Malcolm was home and rapidly sprung into action. We knew it was serious when he insisted on putting shoes on before trying to capture the poor creature. We learned they have nippers which can give even trained rangers a nasty bite. I am sure It sensed our hesitation when it made a dash for it under the door to the spare room. Like most people's spare room ours is full of stuff, all perfect hiding places if you are a big insect on the run.
At this stage I would normally deploy chemical weapons in the destruction of most uninvited insects but since this creature is not that common we had to take it alive. Clare and I waited outside the door while Malcolm rummaged after a good 5 minutes of searching he had it cornered down one side of the bed, moments later it was trapped in an empty ice cream tub. You could tell it was angry by the hissing noise it made - who ever heard an insect hiss?
We delivered it outside and after a photo shoot on the lawn Malcolm returned it to the bush where I hope it will find a comfortable home. Now all that remains are the questions, how did it get in? How long has it been here? Did it bring any friends or family...?
